How To Be A Hero
Once Upon A Time…
Who doesn’t love a good story. The twists, the turns, overcoming obstacles, the drama. We have our repertoire of stories for various occasions and situations. There may be stories you whip out to be funny or reminisce about “the old days” or the stories to “fit in” or seem “cool.” Regardless, we have stories. Lots of them.
Stories can be wonderful. They can make us feel happy, inspired, excited, giddy. But they also are very powerful and can hold us back, limit us and result in our attracting the same ‘ole ugly stories again. We all get to choose the stories we tell and the perspective of that story – positive or negative. We get to make them up. We get to decide the ending. And we believe them.
It’s all our choice. And we do have a choice.
Here are two stories. As you read them pay attention to how your body reacts.
“I can’t believe I am losing my job after giving my blood, sweat and tears to this company for almost 10 years. How many late nights and stressful hours did I have to deal with! The time I took away from my family. It’s not fair. Now what am I going to do? UGH! What timing – I’m about to have a baby. We are such good people. Why why why?! We are going to be without my salary. I better get my resume together and get it out there. It’s a tough market now. Ugh! I have no idea where to start but I guess I should just find a job that pays me a lot of money. I have to hurry so I can find a job fast.”
“Wow, I have been so fortunate to be with this company for almost 10 years and 4 of those were years when others got laid off and I still had a great job that allowed me to work from home and gave me great flexibility. I knew this job was going to end someday so I’m fortunate it lasted as long as it did. I know I did a good job and I loved my job but here is my chance to shake it up. I have always wanted to help people and I’m going to do it. I’m a little nervous but excited. I never would have quit that great job and my husband is being super supportive so here is my chance handed to me on a silver platter for me to go for what I want. Whatever I do I am going to make it mine – make it be the hours I want so I can be with my family more and do something that makes me super happy and healthy. Wow! WOO HOO! I’m so excited for this opportunity!”
How did you feel when you were reading the two stories? Tight, angry and upset with Story #1? Uplifted and hopeful, light and free with Story #2?
Here’s a little secret…
These are the two stories I could have told myself many moons ago when the company I was working for closed. I chose Story #2 to be my story. I didn’t sit down and think of the two stories and choose one. Story #2 was just my story – it is was my first thought, my first reaction to my situation. I never even thought there was another story until I heard someone tell Story #1. (yikes!) For a split second I thought “IS that my story? Is it bad my job is ending?” I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t like hearing that story. To me it wasn’t true and it felt wrong – incorrect. Not true. It wasn’t MY truth and it was putting bad energy out there about my life. And no one wants that!
Hero or Victim?
You get to choose the story you tell, therefore you get to choose whether you’re the hero or the victim. When we choose to be the hero, it empowers us. Gives us strength. Gives us hope. Gives us new opportunities. When we choose to be the victim we are taking away our power and choosing perhaps to be hurt, sad, unmotivated, resentful, blaming.
Then she said…
I am about to date myself here but remember that shampoo commercial where “she told two friends and so on and so on.” Well think of the stories we tell. If we continually tell stories about how bad things are always happening in our life, or how we were wronged by so-and-so and if those stories are told about us over and over again, we have all of that negativity out there and we perpetuate and attract other “bad stories.”
However, when we tell a positive story and that gets retold and retold, we get a whole awesome team of people basically cheering us on, happy for us and spreading good news throughout the land! (ok, I got a little carried away there but you get the point). I don’t know about you but I’d rather hear people rooting for me than talkin’ about how sad my life is – yuck!
What to do? Try this…
1.) Take a thought or story that you have and rewrite it to be the opposite (for example – “my boss thinks I’m an idiot” would become “my boss thinks I’m smart”)
2.) Think of some true examples that support this new phrase (e.g. In my review he said how amazing it was I found that $1million error the vendor made, he thinks I made a great new hire, and he wants me to enter the executive training program)
3.) How does your body feel when you think this new story and the examples you just came up with?
It’s not easy…
“But Deborah, my husband REALLY doesn’t listen to me…ever!!”
“But Deborah, my boss IS a selfish ego maniac.”
“But Deborah, I DO have to become a doctor to please my parents.”
I hear ya! It’s not easy to look at our stories and see if there’s another way to tell them.
We have lots of stories about ourselves, our parents, significant other, kids, friends, grocery clerk, hair stylist, gas attendant etc. Take a minute today and see if there could be another version of the story you can tell that is true and makes you feel better. It might take a few minutes because we have believed our stories for awhile, but give it a try and then mosey over to the Comments and let me know how it goes.
When we consciously and deliberately choose our stories, we choose and change our life.
This post appeared first on Deborah Munies.
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